Friend or Dog..?

I'm tired of always trying to suppress my anger, forcing myself to pass your shit off as jokes. You're really something, to be able to break my tolerance limit again and again. You think that I hate you, because I'm always flaring up at you and therefore conclude that this short-tempered me hates you. But do you see me flaring up at anyone else other than you? Okay maybe a few, but how often? Once in a blue moon as compared to you right?

Truthfully from the bottom of my heart, I don't hate you yknow. I believe that friends who don't ever quarrel are boring and unreal and that bickers, quarrels here and there actually make us closer. Which has been proven to be true for me because I've had a few quarrels with people like Alicia and Junwei, some nasty and some not, and now we're just closer than ever. But with you, I don't know what's going on lah really...

But then again I can't say that we've been quarreling because quarrels are 2-sided and all these while it's only been 1-sided on your part.

You shoot your loose trap > Dampen my mood > I don't feel like talking > We 'buay gum' > No more communication > You apologise > We 'gum' again

No matter what you say, I don't retaliate anymore. Not because there is nothing for me to retaliate with! There are a million and one things crammed up in my head, trying to force their way out of my mouth. But I find that it's not worth it anymore. Our friendship status is forever oscillating between 'gum' and 'buay gum' and I just feel totally drained out from everything. I just know that I cannot treat your 'sorry' as an assurance that such things will never happen again, no.

I really treat you as a friend, but you? You treat me like a dog. I don't know what to say lah. Really don't know. But let me ask you this, "让我觉得一文不值，你有爽到吗?" Ever wondered how your victims feel? You may feel victorious/satisfied etc. but how will I feel? I also guailan you so how do you feel everytime I guailan? Think about it.