I'm sorry

To be honest, I feel so pessimistic towards life sometimes I feel I'm killing myself from the inside out. I feel I'm a bad daughter as a single child, I feel I'm a bad girlfriend towards my first real relationship. It's like, I'm letting all these people down if I were them I'd long given up on myself. It sounds really harsh but only because it hits the nail, that it's better off dead than alive. I always wished and I still do honestly, that if I died my spirit would linger around and see the changes in peoples' lives if there's even any. I'd like to hope that I still have a role to play in everyone's lives, especially the ones more important to me. Especially Jerome, really.