Bad habit, bad thoughts

I guess I can kind of understand why Shasha is so dead set on covering her flaws with make-up rather than not putting any and letting her skin "breathe" and let the scars heal better. I have told her many times that there are so many people with complexion way worse than hers and that there's no reason for her to be para, and she herself can name some who really do have more terrible complexion. But, it's really human nature, or maybe girls' nature, to almost never compare ourselves to a few people slightly worse off than us but instead, compare ourselves to a million people so much better than us!! People do tend to let the bad override the good and so, they barely notice the good in things.

Which brings me to my bad habit of... 

DANG DANG DANG, stalking pretty girls' blogs!!!

Yesss I know! I tell Shasha one thing but do just the opposite, which makes me as big an insecure wreck as she is! I love blogshopping, looking at all the pretty clothes and accessories but what catches my eye the most, is always the pretty models! Which leads me to finding their personal blogs and GOSH, the plummet in my pride and self-esteem!!! From the surface of the earth to the deep center of earth's core, burning in some fucking lava. 

And they are exactly what I call "per-fucking-fect beings". Come on, who doesn't like looking at beautiful people let alone goddesses like them, right?! I look at their photos, then look at myself, then get my own self-esteem and pride brought deep down to the earth's core, then look at some more of their photos! I just can't help myself! Which brings myself back to that picture above... FUCK ME, RIGHT?! Can'ttt be helped~ There's just nooo fucking way it can be helped~ Their faces, collar bones, shoulder blades, slender arms, uk4-6 waists, long ass slender legs and inner thigh gaps!!! Dreamy dreamy dreamy~ Which is really what it is, just a dream~

I know I should feel blessed that I'm born without any abnormalities and I do feel blessed! Really!!! But it is human nature to pursue perfection, like DUH. And I really wonder how it feels like, to not have any issues with self-esteem, pride, and insecurity. "Learn make-up" they say, "you'll be just like them" they say. But make-up worsens your complexion and yuck, I can't imagine putting make-up on a regular basis. But the main point is, nothing comes easy!!! Just make-up alone does NOT do shit! Okay maybe it does but just for the face.

AND SO HENCEFORTH, I SHALL COMMENCE ON A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, AIMING TO SLIM DOWN BY RUNNING ON A REGULAR BASIS. THRICE WEEKLY I HOPE! 2.4KM EACH TIME! IF POSSIBLE, MORE MORE MORE! NO MORE PROCRASTINATION, I LIVE BESIDE A STADIUM FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! I CAN DO IT!! 

(Of course if possible, I want to slim down even if just slightly, just in time for Chinese New Year.) 

I SO HAVE TO LOOK GOOD OMG. FOR MYSELF ANDDD FOR MY BOYFRIEND!!! MUST MAKE HIM FEEL PROUD WHEN HE WALK BESIDE ME LAH HO MY GOD IMAGINE HE WALK BESIDE TRICIA HWAM OR EUNICE ANNABEL HOOO MY GOD CONFIRM SHIOK SENDIRI. SO YES. I HAZ ANNOUNCED MY PLAN FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT TO THE WORLD, NOW I JUST NEED TO DIG INTO THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL FOR "PERSEVERANCE".