Family matter

It's been a year since my dad's retirement and I really am very sad to say that I'm in quite an extreme case of love-hate relationship with the man who once was my childhood hero and figurehead.

Amidst all the family secrets that my mum has let me in on, there are times when my dad makes some cutesy bloopers and I feel that daughterly love part of me again. But how rare is this, really?

I can honestly say that during my younger years I was definitely much closer to my dad, him being the one to spoil me, his only daughter. This was also when I strongly believed the saying that "Daughters will be closer to their dads and vice versa for sons". During my younger years was also when I often hated on my mum for nagging at me for being spoilt and at my dad, the culprit for it. She still nags at me, but ironically now for my lack of respect towards my dad. And contrary to those years, I am now so much closer to my mum. 

Many might think that I come from a very happy and worry-free family. I might've thought so and personally felt so too during my younger years but sadly, not anymore. And as cliche as it may sound coming from me personally, despite me being all-smiles most of the time with my social position usually being joker of the pack, I deep down have grown to become quite a troubled individual.

My mum is now the sole breadwinner of our family, her hairs significantly decreased while the white hairs otherwise. Every day at work, she does the financial accounting for the furniture sales and every night at home, for the family expenditures. She now has to change her prescription of reading glasses every so often when the only redeeming feature she used to be so proud of was her 20/20 eyesight. In addition to that, she now has to apply dark-eye circles patches underneath her tired eyes every night before she sleeps. And to better cope with our family finances, she willingly chooses to go minimum 2 months with only 1 off-day. 

While family time has significantly decreased, my mum's stress and fatigue has and is continuously increasing, the evidence being herself. 

It hurts for me to have to watch so helplessly, even more so as a poly student with extremely costly transportation and education expenditures, both bearable solely by her. 

Henceforth, the reason for my decision to not further my studies being the stress load on my mum. Though she has encouraged me to not hold back because of her and go ahead with university plans, I've decided to head out to the working industry earlier than most for her. 

So while my dad nags at me for my "poor" decision, I stand strong on it simply out of love for my mum. 

My mum is very strong and I love her very much.