Life in the hands of another
Tonight, I attended my first funeral in a long, long time. To personally know the family and friends of the victim from years back and on this night, seeing all of them with their haggard faces still tending to my mum and I really took a toll on us both. Though as of now it is still quite a hot case for the police and media and a controversial one for outsiders, to the many who have stated their stands on whatever platforms such as Stomp and Facebook as to whether or not his death was justice or injustice to him, I say shut your foul mouths. For all of you whom none at all know him personally, you all have no rights whatsoever to be the judge of this man's life and death and his family's living days with or without him.
It was extremely painful to see his usually energetic and cheery father, my mum's boss, like tonight, a face full of sorrow, helplessness, and a significantly smaller belly and waist, evidence being his ever-drooping belted pants. When he laid some small bites and drinks on the table for my mum and I and I mannerly asked him in Chinese, "Uncle, eaten?", I had to endure his woeful expression and answer, "Son like that, how to eat?" After which, he even tried to pop in a joke saying, "I lost 5 kg in 2014 leh." While comically pulling up his belted pants. This we all know, a failed and feeble attempt at being his usual cheery self.
Though the public may have already deemed him as a bad person and even go so far as to condemn him, his family has decided to not give any of these no 2 flying fucks, quoting his father, "Let them say whatever they want. He is my son. I know, you know, all us here know, that's good enough." That's right, to all you unfeeling Dementors who haven't yet experienced the death of your child before you, just desserts guys.
All of us present tonight knew the victim as a man with a physical build as big as a bear and a heart just as big. Whenever they've had family feasts and my mum's boss asked to pack the remainder (I'm talking large remainders such as stingray, king crabs, sambal kangkong) for my mum and I, without fail Y Z would strongly object, scolding his dad to be "selfish" and "petty" for offering leftovers. After which, he would be the one to buy whole takeaway meals for my mum and I and takeaway the original leftovers for his family. This sadly, I only know of tonight and for me to only know of this on such an occasion was really damn hard to swallow. To only know tonight that all those late night takeaway gourmets and delicacies were provided by him... Just overwhelming pain together with delayed gratitude.
The Y Z we all knew was a kind-hearted, generous, and timid man. In this however, seemingly also a very unlucky man. So to all smarty boots and clever clogs out there who've already assumed their judging hats since day 1 of this case, I can only say, "You don't understand a thing so for now just talk away! Wait till you have your own complete family and you one day feel the pain this family feels; The pain of losing a big part of their lives and the pain of all these judging of what is undeservingly gone."
R.I.P., addition to Heaven.