Diminishing

It was interesting, how something so dependable and stable could so suddenly fall apart completely, leaving you with only the memory of how it used to be. And with the demise of the world as you know it, you realize that so many things you thought were priorities faded out of thought and mind until you don't even recognize that you have forgotten their importance. So, the things that you used to be obsessed with become lesser; things that you had grown up believing fall away to reveal secrets long lost. And the only things that remain as a constant reminder of the way it used to be are the scars, which you had never taken into account before.

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I keep falling sick these days it's really quite tiring, like I'm literally feeling death creep into my fucking bones. As it's raining out right now, though the best weather for one to sleep to, here I am kept awake by this throbbing pain and I'm all out on painkillers. Oh god, they could've been more generous with them if they'd know to warn me of the extent of pain I'd be feeling, perhaps why I'm feeling especially emotional on a night like this. 

I so badly wish you were here beside me right now. For sure if I were to see you sleeping beside me right now, I'd be able to go to sleep a million times easier. But I don't. Along with my lack of painkillers, here I am wide awake, very much in need of care and consolation to put me to sleep.