Fuck...

This is not the end 
This is not the beginning 
Just a voice like a riot 
Rocking every revision 
But you listen to the tone 
And the violent rhythm 
Though the words sound steady 
Something empty's within 'em  
We say "Yeah!" 
With our fists flying up in the air 
Like we're holding onto something 
That's invisible there 
'Cause we're living at the mercy of 
The pain and the fear 
Until we dead it, forget it 
Let it all disappear  
- Waiting For The End, by Linkin Park 

Fuck this I really feel like no one cares about me anymore eh. It's rare that I woke up to the news of there being food at home, namely sharks' fin soup that my mum made for me, and the fact that she went down to polyclinic in the morning to fetch me some more painkillers. But today is just not a day where I can let small happiness overwrite the overwhelming unhappiness. I'll be thick-skinned and say it ah, what I'm waiting for and really really need so fucking badly is effort on your part. Damn straight, right there.

I didn't even plan on talking to you today. I emptied my house phone of its batteries, silent my phone with the vibration turned off, but still somehow woke up when you called, which I answered. But no, it didn't turn out pleasant. It got fucked. I got fucked. And seemingly judged for my new choice of workplace. It's not a fucking club leh not a fucking kopitiam!
1) It's a bar at HV with my best friend of donkey years
2) Everyone is attached
3) There's a uniform and it is NOT short, tight skirts.
4) Practically free money except Fridays and Saturdays 7pm-10pm
5) No fucking CPF deduction
But you sure didn't give me time to explain the entire 5 points, did you?

At this rate how are we gonna even make it to our Krabi trip, can tell me? Because I'm really fucking clueless right now ah I'm fucking serious. I'm not feeling better by the hour, by the day. Ok physically, yes I'm feeling better many thanks to the painkillers. Emotionally, can guess the answer?

Fuck me lah ok. F U C K   M E.   O V E R   &   O V E R,   A G A I N   &   A G A I N.
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