Human

Friendship. It is very tiring no? People just always end up getting desensitised and overly friendly to the point that one fine day, they just trip over my wire. My detachment issues apply to all relationships. When I reach peak fatigue, I just want to cut off and do away with said relationship. I find it is more tiring to keep forgiving and turning a blind eye, constantly be lying in wait for the next fuse to trip than to be one relationship lonelier. If it’s a clique situation, so be it. 

Honestly in my life, the only love I can trust is my own and my mum’s. I have been my mum’s daughter for coming 27 years through our 29 years age difference but she still doesn’t disrespect my boundaries and feelings despite her parental status, so I don’t see why friendships should be without respect. I’m not saying we all have to be on our tippy toes constantly treading carefully through a landmine but at least walk like a normal person instead of stomping through haphazardly like a crackhead ADHD kid tryna cover every centimetre of the area? 

I don’t think it’s demanding of me to expect people to be decent humans and respectable-respectful adults? I’m just so baffled. It always comes down to people taking for granted the fact that I seem to always be on an extroverted front and assume that I’m easy like that but no yall can’t be more wrong. I treat everyone with basic human decency so I’ll only accept this level of treatment for myself, it’s that simple. I’ve lived life with my head held high and I will not cower down to any bullshit. Laugh if yall meant your insensitivities as a joke, I don’t care. I’ll have to be dead before I laugh along with you guys like the fuckwit that yall think I am. 

Sooner or later, if I laugh significantly lesser with the rest of the clique, I’ll just end up subtly attacked and outcasted and that’s fine man y’all enjoy yourselves. Primary school scenario at past quarter life? Haha count me out bruv this is not the exemplary adult life that I want to be living. Thank you for the exit.