R.I.P. or new life?

Yesterday, I went and got the forearm tattoo I've longed for for years. Not this idea per se but all along, I've always thought of getting a forearm tattoo eventually, just never had good enough an idea for me to "ruin my future". This idea I came up with honestly is good enough for me to actually want it done on my forearm. And honestly, I was freaking ecstatic looking at myself in the mirror after Lionel completed it. The effort and details he executed during the 4 days of designing and sketching after our consultation, followed by an over 4h session to completing it 95% with an A++ result in my view makes me so so happy that I chose him for the job.

However, I am currently swinging between loving it and questioning my decision. I woke up, looked at it and was really intimidated by its size. Me myself with the "Ok lah let's do it man yolo let's ruin my life" mindset about my forearm tattoo is really getting to me now hahahaha. If I get intimidated, I'm sure even more so for the common folks. Before getting any tattoos, even I myself looked at tattooed youngsters (I'm talking huge exposed tattoos) like "Omg poor thing gg".

I think it's the part of my character that's always out to please everyone. I feel genuinely scared right now of what the public will think of me. Yes, for sure people will look at me just like how I used to look at other tattooed people. Even worse, I'm scared of being an embarrassment walking beside my mum. Although I did consult my mum about getting this tattoo and in no way downplayed it (I asked her if she's ok with it being big afterwhich came out to her that yes, it'll be this big), I feel bad for her now.

She seemed really tired and moody yesterday after I came home from work and kept asking me to show her my tattoo but I was afraid of scaring her so I kept putting it off, using the excuse of not wanting to scare her with the bleeding. Eventually, I showed her and her mood didn't change so I asked her

Me: ... Are you angry?

Mum: No lah today really very tired from work. Anyway I asked you if you will regret mah, you said you won't so I let you do it.

Me: I'm scared of how people will look at me and you from now on.

Mum: Yati, you should only care about the people who are important to you: Yourself, your family, maybe lah, your relatives. If I'm ok with it, that's all that should matter to you.

I know she makes sense because she's my own mother, but I feel like because she's so accepting about it I feel even worse. I'm really worried. I don't hate my tattoo honestly, I really love it. But I love my mum more and I'm just terrified of her getting judgement. She's lived her entire life being kind and morally upright and she definitely doesn't deserve the harsh judgements from society because of me. I'm just someone who loves tattoos, Japanese art, and my mum.