Solo

This way of dealing with things is getting exhausting. I tend to go AWOL and distance myself from the people close to me whenever I'm deeply affected by something. In my defense, it's my attempt at protecting them. I'm afraid of showing my negativity and unconsciously flaring up at unknowing innocents. But this is also the time where my mood really comes down hard on me and I always end up seeking some form of gratification in sometimes painful impulsive decisions like making a spontaneous tattoo appointment, walking in somewhere random for a new piercing, buying a 6-pack of whatever beer, catching a movie alone, or simply buying a box dye and going home for my DIY in the hope that washing the colour off and letting it flow down my back gives me some form of false renewal.

Fuck... I'm so meant to be alone aren't I hahaha.